Immersed in the World of Firsts

This post may be all over the place as I am in the space of let’s see what comes out of my head right now.

It’s been over two months since I wrote here. I am not sure how time has moved so quickly, but it has! My little newborn is now a 6 month old with two teeth and growing a head full of hair. This also means that I am 6 moths postpartum and maybe just maybe coming out of the postpartum haze? I am not so sure about that one yet…

I honestly don’t have much time to do anything but take care of my little one, which I am openly and graciously accepting as this season of my life. My brain feels like its solely focused on Rey Rey. I know because I have forgotten and done some really weird things! It’s like nothing else besides her exists to my mind. “We gotta keep this tiny human alive, omg look how cute she is, oh look at this cute new thing she is doing. Omg, I love her so much”. These are pretty much the thoughts happening in my head currently.

I can tell you that we successfully did Rey Rey’s first trip to NYC. She is a mellow, chill and a calm baby so I expected the trip and her first flight to go well. She slept through landing and through a jazz concert. She slept on subways and walking through Manhattan. On this trip she turned 6 months and has started to roll over, sit, say mama and eat solids (well just strawberry, blueberries and gnaw on a mango pit)! My little tiny human is coming into her personality and everyday is a joy watching her come more and more into her Beingness.

I think this is the strange thing about being a parent, you are literally watching someone grow so intimately and you are so invested in this human’s every step, every breathe, every laugh, every cry, every moment of their existence. To be a parent, to me is to re-live life all over again starting from zero. To experience each moment a new. To see the tree for the first time, to see the butterfly for the first time, to fall in love for the first time, to laugh for the first time, to walk for the first time. To experience all of the firsts again, for the first time. To let life inspire you, amaze you and put you in awe as you see it again for the first time through your tiny little human’s eyes and perspective.

I operate so entirely now. I have never felt so present with life. All that matters is the day today, the moment I am in right now. To be a parent is to live in present time, but also some how witness time aging. To experientially feel time slipping through your fingers and to feel each blink taking you further and further away from the fresh new human you birthed from your body. To be a parent is to be in the miraculous and magical experience of being human. And I am loving this ride so so so much and ending each day with gratitude.

xx KP.